plus 10 after work rituals to reduce stress

I had to learn the hard way that I’m a stress addict. I’m always looking for more to do. Always seem to want to add one more thing to my plate even though it’s already piled high!

This can result in a lot of issues, from snapping at loved ones, to digestive complaints, stress eating, and even heart problems if you leave it unchecked!

It can often be hard to determine if you are addicted to stress, especially if you are used to being in a stressed state a large amount of the time. For people with chronic stress, it is very difficult to determine when your stress is a problem, and when it is something you might be seeking out. 

As a cheat - if you are reading this you are probably addicted to stress! But here are some more detailed signs:

5 signs that you are addicted to stress:

Never having any free time – When someone asks you “what do you do in your free time” you can’t answer them because you never have any. It seems like a foreign concept to you.

Constantly packing your schedule – Similarly, you might be constantly looking for more to fill your schedule. Maybe you notice that when you have a day off over the weekend, you almost look for more to do. You offer to help others, you add on more tasks to the task you are already working on, you try to learn something new.

There is nothing wrong with working hard and getting ahead in your life, but there is something wrong with feeling like you have to. This is a big sign that you could be addicted to the stress and overwhelm that a busy life brings you.

Being bored when you have nothing to do – For those rare occasions when you have nothing to do and no plans, are you bored? Do you struggle with what to do with your time? Do you feel uneasy when you have free time?

Feeling more accomplished when you are busier – You might be someone who feels more accomplished the busier you are. That somehow lack of sleep and 80-hour work weeks and never having time for friends and family just means you are working harder than them, dreaming big, and being more accomplished. You need rest, both for your mind and your body.

Being Used to the Feeling of Overwhelm – This is a sign that doesn’t seem like a problem, but can be one of the worst of all. If you spend so much of your time stressed out and overwhelmed, you might not even realize the stress anymore. You get used to it, you become accustomed to that feeling of unease, you are adapted to the mental and physical signs of stress. 

This is likely from your addiction as not only are you continuing to add more to your schedule, but you aren’t doing anything about the stress you are already living with.

How to Get a Handle on Your Stress Addiction

If any of this sounds like you, now is a good time to handle the stress addiction. You first need to come to terms with the fact that you are dealing with chronic stress and that you might be seeking it out. You need to understand that everyone needs a break and that stress is common, but not how things should be.

Below the fold I’ll be talking about how to relax from work stress, but here are some other blogs I’ve written on reducing stress

Work Related Stress Addiction and Self Care

So much stress comes from work - here are some strategies to end your work day with a ritual.

Leave work at work

I used to work at the hospital, which can be very stressful.  Sometimes patients didn’t make it, and it was taxing. My mentor told me - when you leave a patient's room, imagine them on a canoe. Now give that canoe a little push down the river, and know that they will circle back to you. 

The imagery helps. With so many of us now working at home, I encourage you to have a hard shut off time for your emails and work items. At that time, engage in an end of work activity.

Plan out your next day

Decide the most important work item for the next day. Open the needed tabs/programs for that item. Then close your computer. This starts your next day off with a win, getting a hard task done first. 

It also will decrease your activation energy for that task. It’s easier to start it when you’re all ready to go. You might find that doing this makes you more anxious - if you do then this might not be the right strategy for you!

Write a “To Done” list

Note all the things you got done that day, from the small things to big ones! Include anything you did the night before too in your personal/social life. This will give you mental permission to relax at night when you realize how much you got done.

To take this to the next level, on Fridays go over the whole week and make a “highlights” list from the week, and then another “super highlight list” on the last Friday of the month and year. You’ll be amazed how much you got done!

Read a Book or Magazine

When was the last time you got lost in a good novel or thumbed through a magazine? Reading is a great way to escape your day-to-day life. Treat yourself to a bookstore visit, or swing by your local library on your way home from work. 

Make Time for Play

Set aside time to truly play, whether its with your kids, dog, hamster, significant other or by yourself! Unstructured play can help relax your mind, bring out your creative energy, and relieve stress.

Meditate

Meditation isn't some esoteric art that only monks practice. Anyone can learn to meditate, and it's an excellent form of self-care. There are lots of different types of meditation you can choose from, and you can meditate for any length of time, whether you've got five minutes or half an hour. If you're a beginner to meditation, start by sitting down in a quiet place, closing your eyes, and focusing on your breath for ten minutes (set a timer). Try to do this every day. Over time, you'll find yourself getting distracted less - and feeling more centered in your day-to-day life, too. 

Get physical

After work is a great time for physical activity, especially if you have a sedentary job. This could be formal exercise, going for a walk, or can be combined with making time for play!

Dance is a great way to be physically active that is loads of fun too! Put on your favorite tune and jam out in your living room!

Write in a Journal

If you ever feel like your mind is racing or your thoughts are all jumbled inside your head, writing in a journal will help. When you get into the habit of putting a few sentences down on paper every day, you'll feel calmer and more collected. You'll start noticing patterns in your life as well. Find a notebook and a pen that feels good to write with, and try unwinding from work by jotting down your thoughts for ten minutes. 

Make Yourself a Cup of Hot Tea

Drinking tea is a simple, soothing self-care ritual. Keep a box or two of your favorite tea on hand, and get into the habit of putting the kettle on when you get home from work. Don't just sip your tea mindlessly - focus on its taste, the scent of the steam, and the sensation of warmth as you drink it. If you'd like, you can make a cup of tea to enjoy while you read a book or write in your journal.

Tell Someone You Care About Them

Sometimes the best way to care for yourself is to connect with someone else. Humans are naturally social - we need love and friendship to stay mentally healthy. If there's someone in your life you haven't talked to in a while, call them up just to say hello. A voice memo is a great way to do this that takes only a few seconds. If you live with a spouse or kids, tell them how much they mean to you.

These are some ideas that I use myself when I feel stressed and I hope they help you too!

My top takeaway is ”always make time for you!”

PS: Are the days full of stress making you eat more too? Click here for some tips on how to stop stress eating!