Say “No” to Transform Your Life
Whether your goals are to lose weight, improve health, better your relationships, learn new skills…. you have to say no
Does this sound familiar “Hey friend, can you help out with the bake sale next month?” “uhhh… ok sure I can help”.
It seemed so far away at the time. But then next month rolls around and you find that you have to give up your meal prep and workout time in order to bake cookies for the bake sale, then inevitably try some, and sit at a table selling them for hours.
Only, multiply that by 10 things every month. Little things, big things and everything in between. Eating up your days. And most of them aren’t important to you at all.
It’s a trap!
You can’t say yes to everything. We all know this - but we do it anyway. WHY?? It’s partly because we think it will protect our relationships with others. We want to make them happy, make their lives better because we love them and care about them.
And even with strangers - we say yes. To be helpful, to keep up the appearance that we can do it all.
We have a temporary peace. Yes I’ll do this - I don’t want to argue or worry about it. But then, no I can’t do it! I don’t have time!
Then sometimes, it all blows up. No I can’t do all this! I need help! I don’t know why I agreed to it!
And in reality? When we say YES to everything, there is also a NO behind it. YES I’ll help you move into your new house - but that means NO I can’t spend the day with my kids and working on my colosseum crochet project.
What are you really saying when you say “Yes”?
Other people’s priorities are more important than mine
I won’t have time for rest, recovery and self care
I’ll end up frustrated and stressed
I don’t have time to really jump on the thing I’m actually excited about
I won’t have time for my close friends and family
I’ll probably snap because I’m overstressed and under rested
Only give the enthusiastic “Yes”
I challenge you to always give a neutral answer - let me look at my schedule and get back to you by noon tomorrow.
Take the time to think it through - do you have time? Do you want to do this? Is it actually crucial that you do it?
By setting a specific time you will get back to the person, you ensure that you will really think about it now, and respect the other person’s time by giving them a timeframe to expect your response.
One strategy that can help - make a list of your top 3-4 priorities, and put it somewhere you see it each day. Your phone background, bathroom mirror, in your car. And then look at your priorities and ask - does this line up with what I’ve said I want?
For example, let’s say my priorities are to get healthier, spend more time with my family and close friends, and get a raise at work, and I am asked to help raise money for a new neighborhood park.
Does that line up with my priorities? No. Do I want to do it? Not really. Do I feel like I probably “should”? Yes. But that would mean giving something up, like my workout time.
So I’ll say “no”
Maybe I’ll say “I’m sorry, I can’t fit that into my schedule right now. But I can donate some money towards the cause and add my signature!”
Be clear, confident, consistent and concise. Less is more - the more details they have the easier it is to raise an argument against those reasons.
PS: If you want to say “yes” to quick and easy meals, grab my free cookbook here! Most meals are ready in 15 minutes or less!
